People reports that a Facebook post at the Denver Zoo about the socializing and mating habits of Chilean and American flamingos accidentally broke the news that Freddie and Lance were no more. “Flamingos are extremely social by nature and herds consist of co-op collections. “This includes not only male-female breeding pairs, but also strong bonds between same-sex couples,” the post added. “The surrogate parents if a breeding couple could not raise their chick… while our famous, same-sex couple, Chilean flamingo Lance Bass and American flamingo Freddie Mercury are no longer a couple, were a couple for several years”, wrote the zoo. adding, “Our flock has 75 birds, which allows our birds to catch fire with a variety of individuals and personalities, giving them many choices about who to mate with.” People were upset. They broke out. They cried in their bathtubs with the Chunky Monkey. At least that’s what I guess, because the zoo had to post another Facebook post the very next day about Freddie and Lance to soften the blow of separation with a little more context. “It seems that yesterday’s post on flamingos may have been upset and we want to sincerely apologize… for leaving everyone in the dark for as long as they separated the same-sex flamingo couple Freddie Mercury and Lance Bass! Rest assured that both Freddie and Lance are in good health, they did not divorce and their separation was friendly. Mating for a lifetime does not necessarily apply to all birds and our guards have noticed that some birds in long-term relationships sometimes decide to go ahead and mate with other birds. Freddie, this dirty whore, has already mated with another flamingo, this time a younger female he had never thought about, so he is clearly petty and tries to make Lance jealous. Poor Lance is still free and ready to explode and is probably out in the club drunk “just doing it” as we talk. “Freddie repaired with Iommi, one of our fourteen-year-old American flamingos. Iommi has been close to Freddie for most of her life with no sign of a relationship before, so the guards aren’t exactly sure why the two decided to mate. “As for Lance, the guards have not noticed him in a new specific relationship with anyone else at the moment,” he added. “Flamingos are incredibly social animals that create unique and intricate bonds. Some birds are in male-female breeding pairs. Some birds are in same-sex pairs. “Some birds mate in pairs all their lives, some will have many mates in their lives and others will have no mate at all,” added the Denver Zoo on flamingo mating habits. “Incredibly social, are we now? Fuck him! ” Lance shouted as he threw a picture of himself and Freddie into the room, watching her bang on the wall and collapse. I still have to find out exactly what happened here, but I would not be surprised if Cara Delevigne was involved in any way. Today we have to pour one out because true love simply does not exist. True discussion though: Lance Bass? The real Freddie Mercury would never do that! Photo: Denver Zoo / Instagram
