The former Made In Chelsea star, 32, took to her Instagram Stories on Wednesday to update how Ryan is doing amid her troubles, saying she is also looking for help. Earlier in the day, Louise admitted that seven months after giving birth to her son Leo she is still ‘scared of life’ and has reached a ‘weird stage’ where she ‘blocks everything out’ following a highly traumatic birth. Speaking out: Louise Thompson, 32, says fiancé Ryan Libbey suffers from PTSD after two close brushes with death while giving birth to son Leo, seven months Responding to a question from a fan who asked how Ryan was doing, Louise wrote: ‘Had to hold down the fort. It was loud, loud, loud and then a little louder and then BAM there was an almighty crash. “It’s crazy how hard it was for him to get help. No help from the NHS. So we’ve just been introduced to a bunch of private people. “Anyway, until now someone has had to be found to take over. I can’t wait for it to start. Struggles: The former Made In Chelsea star took to her Instagram Stories on Wednesday to update how Ryan is getting on amid her troubles, saying she’s also looking for help Honest: Louise wrote: “He had to hold the fort. It was loud, loud, loud and then a little louder and then BAM there was an almighty crash.” “Not necessarily for me to comment on in too much detail, but he defo has PND and PTSD. “We’ve never really talked about what happened between us. One day I’d like couples counseling to learn how what happened shaped our experience and how it’s not our fault that things turned out the way they did. “He’s so protective, so he probably feels guilty that he couldn’t help me. Difficult times: She added that she was devastated that Leo’s first few months of life were tainted as she was unable to bond with him at home as she coped with her ordeal “Our experiences are so different. My head faced an awful experience. He had to see everything with clear vision. He still stays up all night to check on me, worried I won’t wake up. “It must have been horrible to watch what he did and be so powerless. She had no preparation for taking care of a baby solo either. He had to bring him every day to see me which caused him a lot of stress. “Not as much time to be tied up at home as I imagined.” She added that she was devastated that the first few months of Leo’s life were tainted as she was unable to bond with him at home as she dealt with her ordeal. A fan asked: ‘How has this affected your bond with Leo if you don’t mind me asking?’, and she replied: ‘I couldn’t fathom having a baby for the first 3/4 months which makes me so sad. “When the pros would look at me like how he was, I’d just brush it off and say, ‘He’s healthy.’ Tough times: Her caption began by asking ‘where she’s been with her recovery’, admitting she struggles with periods where she can’t ‘think or speak properly’. It comes after Louise described her fears of suffering from ‘brain damage’ and ‘a form of dementia’ as she updated fans on her recovery from PTSD and postnatal anxiety. In a lengthy Instagram post, the TV personality admitted her mental health struggles have come close to “destroying her family”, just a week after revealing she had started “talk therapy” following another hospital stay. Her caption began by asking ‘where has she been with her recovery’, with the star writing: ‘Mmmm. I’m in a weird phase right now where I’m blocking everything. Maybe I said that at the beginning? “I can’t really remember much because I’m still trying to protect myself from the pain. I don’t want to read again. This situation seems very repetitive. “Ultimately, it feels like it all happened a long time ago, but it also feels like it happened to someone else and not me. “I feel like I’ve erased my entire past and started life as a completely new person. Sometimes a sick person. People tell me how far I’ve come, but I can’t remember how far. “I can remember a lot of weird things from my childhood…sensory things will bring back the weirdest memories from back when I was 5-15, but then I’ve sort of erased them between then and now. “Now that I mention it, sometimes the ONLY things I can feel are sensory things, like the feeling I get when I go from a warm room to a cold room, and it helps me connect with the world around me.” Louise continued: “To put it bluntly, I’m struggling to get on with ‘normal’ life. Every day I feel really bad physically and every other day I seem to have an hour (sometimes more) where I feel confused in my brain – I don’t know what it is but it feels like brain damage or a mini Stroke. “Maybe it’s a weird editing experience. I feel like I’m either REALLY low on a certain chemical/hormone or really high. But either way I can’t think straight or talk straight during these episodes. “I feel like I’m having a severe allergic reaction to something in my brain. I go from feeling really low and agitated to feeling a rush from something and then the worst cramps around my pelvis, but then my brain levels out, like the chemicals have been restored. I was told this is not a result of my mental health medication?! Can anyone help with the physical side of things? “I’ve tried to eliminate certain things and watch my lifestyle, but I can’t figure out what it is. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern and it has nothing to do with triggers. Strangely, I only seem to NOT get it when I don’t eat anything at all for a day (if I’m traveling I have to fast otherwise I have to fast because otherwise I have serious gut issues). Concerns: The star went on to say she fears she is suffering from a ‘weird form of dementia’ and even exercise, one of her favorite mental escapes, could ‘knock her for six’ The star went on to write that she wants to find a way to “act normal” while battling “brain damage” because she doesn’t want her son Leo to see her “broken.” “My system is still so out of balance. Last night I was up all night with the worst flu-like symptoms. Agony to touch everywhere. I couldn’t lift Leo. I feel like I have inflammation all over my body, especially my neck, chest and brain,” Louise continued in her post. “I know I definitely have it in my GI system, but why does my whole neck and head hurt so much? And why do I have such weird nerve sensations all over the right side of my face. My mind was EVERYWHERE and now I just want someone to fix me. “I know I want to go back to my normal Louise, so why won’t my body and brain let me. As someone who is still trying to shift the label of “control freak” this has been very difficult to manage because I am constantly searching for answers and not getting very far. I don’t think anyone I’m talking to can relate. Read more: Adding that she’s ‘kind of shaking the life out of her’, Louisa went on to say she ‘can’t figure out how to have a good time’ “Just when I think I might be turning a corner, I feel really sick. This puts me in a bad spot again. Then I wonder: Will I ever feel healthy again? And more importantly, will I ever be able to think like a normal person again?’ Louise then admitted she began to fear she has “a weird form of dementia” after struggling with “big memory lapses between long periods of time”. And he continued: “Unfortunately, I also find it difficult to exercise. When I tried recently, I felt very sick the next day. “Mainly mentally low but also physically beaten. This has always been my cure for all mental and physical ailments, but now it knocks me for six. “It’s so boring not being able to do the things I love, even with a little help from Leo. I’m kind of scared for my life, but sometimes it’s manageable. Read more: Continuing her post, Louisa admitted she ‘continues to show off along with her patience’ and revealed Ryan plans to get help for his own PTSD fears “Sometimes I have a great time, but when I’m in a bad place I can’t figure out how to have a good time. “I just have to repeat and this will pass. Unfortunately, I can’t just pull myself out of the funk with happy thoughts or “feel good” practices. “Sometimes I think, a lot of people must think this is all a huge joke, because they’ll never EVER understand what it’s like to have been through what I’ve been through or sit in my head for even a minute. . “I can’t even believe I’m still thinking about it. There aren’t really any words that get you there. Let’s just say I wouldn’t wish it on my WORST enemy, not that I have any enemies. “Anyway, I’ll keep trying along with this newfound patience, but sometimes I think that’s not too much. It feels so unfair. I think I’m just starting to get to the anger stage as well, which is a little weird for a typically angry person. Miles away: Ending her post, Louise explained that she’s in an ‘awkward place’ but ultimately hopes she can use her own struggles to help others “I’m really angry that things got so bad and that I had to go through all this. It makes me sick. He has come very close to destroying my family and my relationship and I am angry because of it. I’m also irrationally angry at strange things.’ Louise also explained how she was worried that Ryan was also suffering from PTSD and said that while he has yet to undergo treatment, she hopes it will work because she “hates to see him suffer”. He continued: “So much anyway… when I’m not feeling well and when I’m not with Leo my head is funny, maybe…
