Hercules — a postdoctoral researcher at the Princess Margaret Cancer Centre, developing new prevention tools for women at high risk of breast cancer — says he wants to be authentic and wants to encourage others, especially young people, to be the same. In addition to being a scientist, Herakles, 31, who goes by his/her pronouns, says he is “an island boy and a hot girl.” “Child of the island, [because I was] i grew up on the island of barbados… and hot girl in the fact that even though i’m a scientist and that island person, i like to look good, i like to exude confidence, i want people to feel warm and welcome around. me,” they told CBC Hamilton. But Hercules says he wasn’t always so sure. He says that long before the COVID-19 pandemic, he wore a mask. Sure I had to cover up so people wouldn’t catch me for broadcasting the news and the Gospel of Jesus on the radio, but I wasn’t living up to what I guess the listeners would expect me to be.- Shawn Hercules He started wearing these invisible masks when he was about eight years old and said another boy in his church’s children’s choir was “cute”. “They started calling me derogatory terms. I didn’t realize it would be weird because it just felt natural at the time,” Hercules said. “I was being called words I didn’t even know because I was young. In Barbados there is a term called ‘b—-r’, which is equivalent to f—-t. So I was called slurs from that age without even knowing what was”. Hercules is a postdoctoral researcher at the Princess Margaret Cancer Centre, developing new prevention tools for women at high risk of breast cancer. (Submitted by Shawn Hercules) Hercules says he told his best friend at school, who in turn told his mother and asked her the meaning of the word. “She told him and she came to school and she told me and it pissed me off. Like, I felt so embarrassed, so embarrassed, so awful.” In church, Hercules said he would regularly hear more about homosexuality being a sin. You will burn in hell. “Well, I’d try not to make it obvious that I wasn’t straight. I’d try not to, I look other guys in the eye for a long time. Like, even with a physical conversation, I’d just try not to connect … to not it is obvious”. As a teenager he became more involved with his church, but while a part of him really wanted to love God, serve in the church and be involved as much as possible, another part also knew that “the same God I worship does not accept this place my.” “I was into it a lot in my teenage years,” he said. I slowly began to realize that in Canada, people don’t really care that much about what you do with your life, your body, how you present yourself, or anything else. It’s not like in Barbados where there were binocular eyes on you.- Shawn Hercules Later Hercules worked at a gospel radio station as a DJ. “I definitely had to cover up so people wouldn’t catch me because I was spreading the news and the Gospel of Jesus on the radio, but I wasn’t living up to what I guess the listeners would expect me to be.” Hercules completed his undergraduate and graduate degrees — both at the University of the West Indies (UWI) Cave Hill campus — before moving to Canada to pursue his Ph.D.
“A total social butterfly”
Juliet Daniel was a Hercules PhD supervisor at McMaster University. He first met Hercules in 2015 while on research leave in Barbados. A professor at the UWI Cave Hill campus knew Daniel was looking for students to join her research team to work on breast cancer projects in black women and introduced them. “It’s like fate and a miracle, because if I had met him two or three months earlier, he would never have been in my lab … because I literally got funding, I think about three weeks before he introduced us,” Daniel told CBC Hamilton. . “Well, it was completely accidental.” Hercules moved to Canada in August of that year. “Within a week of being here, Shawn had pretty much made the rounds of McMaster University and everyone at McMaster seems to have met Shawn in his first week. “She was a total social butterfly for the first semester.” Juliet Daniel was a Hercules PhD supervisor at McMaster University. (Submitted by Juliet Daniel) In Canada, he slowly began to peel off his masks. After much thought, he attended his first LGBT event, held by McMaster for first-year graduate students. “I avoided the cameras as much as possible, but I felt so validated going into that event with the other students,” Hercules said. “I slowly started to realize that in Canada, people don’t care that much about what you do with your life, your body, how you present yourself or anything. It’s not like in Barbados where there were binocular eyes on you. “I started meeting more friends who are very comfortable with their sexuality and gender identity, and it just felt very affirming to be around that and to be in that space — a non-judgmental space,” they added.
Science is an attraction
In 2019, Hercules and other students organized the inaugural Science is a Drag event — a mix of drag and science talks aimed at getting scientists in drag for a lip-sync performance followed by a description of their research. Hercules and co-producers Dr. Samantha Yammine, Dr. Geith Maal-Bared, Daniel Celeste, and Carrie Boyce, with support from RCIScience, conceived Science is a Drag as a way of challenging the cis/heteropatriarchal norms of academia. “That was a really pivotal moment, also because that was the first time I’d ever been in a devastating situation, and then in public,” he said. “It was just an amazing feeling for me and everyone there. It was like a science conference, but it’s cool because it’s in a bar and you have scientists talking to you about science and their attraction. This is just so awesome, people loved it. I loved it.”
Reaction in Barbados
But the news got back to Barbados and people were not happy. “They were very unforgiving. They harassed my family for weeks, calling their phone, harassing them,” she said. “It just wasn’t very nice of the people who did that — you know, put my family in it, but that’s what happened.” Daniel, who was in Europe on research leave, said it was “hard” for Heracles, based on the report he got upon her return. “I don’t think he expected the backlash … so, there was some fallout from him coming out publicly. So, it was difficult for him emotionally … he wasn’t prepared for the backlash when it happened.” Despite the backlash in Barbados, Hercules said: “I just kept doing what I was doing and living unapologetically.” In his keynote speech, Hercules said that “authenticity” was the main tool that helped him navigate his graduate school journey. Hercules, borrowing the lyrics of a fellow Barbadian – superstar Rihanna – encouraged their colleagues to “shine like a diamond”. While Hercules encourages people everywhere to be authentic, he knows there may be ‘safety issues’ for some.’ “If being authentic puts you at risk, then that’s a sign of the system. Not you, but the system needs to change. But be who you can be, safely. Look around you to see if you have a community that supports that you can you are safe. “It’s not even just about queerness. It’s just generally just being authentic and real, it really allows you to connect with people on a deeper level,” Hercules said. For more stories about the experiences of Black Canadians – from anti-Black racism to success stories within the Black community – check out Being Black in Canada, a CBC project Black Canadians can be proud of. You can read more stories here. (CBC)
