As they sat down for their first meeting, it was rather unfortunate (but not surprising) that it was Boris Johnson who suggested that they might not just take off their jackets but strip down even more ‘to show we’re tougher than Putin’ . Given the sordid detail about to emerge in the UK about the then British foreign secretary being caught flagrantly on his office sofa with a younger associate who would later become the third Mrs Johnson, it’s a pity he only suggested: “Show them our feedback! “ The seven members of the G7 boys’ club laughed awkwardly. “Riding bare-chested,” Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau smiled. The only woman around the table, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen, an “unlisted member” of the group, gamely joined in. “Oh yes,” she said in hushed tones. “Horseback riding is the best.” Scarlet for her. A few days later and the circus, with an expanded cast, moved to Madrid. The Taoiseach was among those invited to the Euro-Atlantic dinner in the Spanish capital hosted by Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez, attended by all EU and NATO leaders. We hear it was suffocating in town, but Micheál Martin kept his jacket on. He flew to Spain on the government jet that managed to find a parking spot among the four jumbo jets it took to ferry Joe Biden across the ocean, while next-door neighbors France sent three huge planes to highlight Emmanuel Macron’s credentials. Apparently, the Irish corps couldn’t see anything once they landed because their little flying machine was wedged between the big forces. “It was like a Russian jet doll,” said one member of the entourage. The Taoiseach met US Commander-in-Chief Joe Biden (who was accompanied by his two granddaughters) and UK Leader Boris Johnson for dinner at the Prado Museum, which is superb on all levels, so presumably Johnson he did I don’t feel the need to repeat the line of the joke from Bavaria: “Can we take our clothes off?” The leaders dined in the Cloister extension on the top floor and the menu featured typical flavors of Madrid. They started with an appetizer of cod, orange and beetroot, followed by lobster gazpacho with summer vegetables, flavored with basil and extra virgin Arbequina olive oil. The main course was slow-roasted lamb shoulder with lemon purée and the dessert was strawberries with violet caramel, wafer and anise. They were each presented with a silver coin specially minted for the 275th anniversary of the birth of the artist Francisco de Goya. Earlier, VIP guests viewed the magnificent works of art on display. Michael was particularly drawn to Goya’s Queen Maria Luisa on Horseback (1799), although it must have been difficult for leaders to look at the painting without thinking of photoshopping Putin’s upper body onto it. The thin Russian President was stung by the G7 lads who mocked his tough image. However they wanted to strip, “I think it would be a disgusting sight,” he said Thursday. Western leaders don’t have what it takes to look good because they don’t exercise enough and abuse alcohol, apparently. Maybe Micheál should invite Vlad to Courtmacsharry for the annual New Year’s swim. Or Leo Varadkar could take him for a swim among the jellyfish at Forty Foot. This may ease his cough. +++++ With all the talk in the Dáil about the cost of living crisis and emergency budgets, the week’s good news didn’t get much media coverage. Wednesday’s press release from the Treasury Department was a welcome ray of sunshine amid all the doom and gloom. “Seán Fleming, Secretary of State at the Treasury with special responsibility for Financial Services, Credit Unions and Insurance, welcomes the news that the Irish Bouncy Wage Federation has secured insurance cover for the bouncy castles.” The Irish Wage Workers’ Federation will operate through a new group insurance scheme. The organization represents bouncy castle operators across the country. And here is a quote from an ecstatic Fleming: “This is very welcome news to the operators of the castle. I would like to congratulate the Irish Federation of Inflatable Hirers and their broker for getting this successful group scheme up and running. This is great news for families and children across the country who will now be able to access and benefit from the fun and enjoyment of bouncy castles. Many businesses have found success in accessing insurance through group plans. I would encourage businesses that are struggling to access insurance to consider a group plan with their colleagues.” Every politician loves a good bounce. +++++ The Dáil rose at midnight on Wednesday on a very thin note. At one point, Leas Ceann Comhairle Catherine Connolly accused Fine Gael’s Brendan Griffin of being “outrageous” and threatened to walk out of the rest of the vote if some government TDs did not co-operate with the chair. Griffin was the main offender, angrily calling for the vote to renew the Special Criminal Court for a second time to be held “non-electronically”. He wanted a roll call vote because “a huge percentage of MPs in this Parliament abstained from voting on the Special Criminal Court”. The motion passed by a significant margin and as House rules state that a member cannot call for a roll call if the difference between Tá and Níl in the first result is greater than 10, Brendan had no procedural leg to stand on. But that was never the point. His aim was to shine a spotlight on the 31 Sinn Féin TDs who “seem to have no view of gang crime in this country”. Finally, after much hooting and hollering for posterity’s sake, the Kerry TD said: “I want to put on record my disgust that 31 Members of Dáil Éireann abstained from a vote on a motion for the Special Criminal Court” and cut off his protest. One more vote later and MPs finally had the chance to head for the hills. James Lawles, chairman of the Justice Joint Committee, was particularly looking forward to getting home as he was due to return to Leinster House at 8.30am. the next day to prepare for what turned out to be a mammoth session on the data retention bill. He headed to the LH 2000 building to collect his belongings, taking the elevator to his office on the fourth floor. A few seconds later it went crazy and stopped between the second and third floors. He hit the emergency button and tried to explain where he was before calling one of the ushers, who rushed to his aid along with several of his colleagues. Two burly Army officers eventually arrived on the scene (the Defense Forces have a permanent station at Government Buildings/Leinster House). They managed to open a gap so the Kildare North TD could see out and speak to his rescuers who were standing directly below him. He wanted to jump out, but that course of action was ruled out for health and safety reasons, along with the terrifying possibility of the elevator suddenly moving again while he was halfway there. Lawless spent an hour in the elevator before an engineer arrived on the scene and set the inferno back into motion. He now joins the not-so-exclusive club of MPs (and many others) who have fallen victim to temperamental Oireachtas elevators. The following evening, Lawless, a barrister by trade, joined a bevy of fellow Justice Committee members and political legal eagles at the King’s Inns on Constitution Hill for the Bar of Ireland Chair’s dinner. Attorney General, Paul Gallagher and outgoing President, Maura McNally, SC spoke at the event. Higher Education Minister Simon Harris and Wexford TD James Brown, Secretary of State at the Ministry of Justice, carried the flag for Merrion Street. Former AG and Justice Secretary Michael McDowell led a cross-party group of senators, while another former holder of the justice portfolio, Fine Gael’s Charlie Flanagan, was among the big Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael TDs. Labor leader and law professor Ivana Bacik led a group of Labor lawyers, while Sinn Féin justice spokesman Martin Kenny was flanked by fellow Tralee barrister Pa Daly, who replaced outgoing SF chief Martin Ferris on 2020 elections. Deputy Kenny sat near the top table with some of the Law Library’s big players. There was plenty of banter from the Sinn Fein spokesman during the evening, as you’d expect from the man tipped to become justice secretary if his party comes to power. Perhaps the TD for Sligo-Leitrim filled them in on Sinn Féin’s reasons for abstaining from the Special Criminal Court vote the night before – a softening of the stance from the party’s once implacable opposition to it. Three lawyers – the three S’s – are vying to replace Leitrim woman McNally as President of the Bar: Senior Counsels Sara Phelan, Seán Ó hUallacháin and Seamus Clarke. ++++ David Norris was in the Upper House this week for Tuesday’s second stage debate on the Higher Education Authority Bill. The minister, Simon Harris, read his script at speed, finishing by outlining the key sections of the bill from number one to 14. “Bong!” Norris went. “I hope Senator Norris saying ‘bong’ is included in the transcript,” Sinn Féin’s Niall Ó Donnghaile said. “I’ve never smoked a bong in my life. Give me an audience any day,” Norris replied. Fianna Fáil’s Pat Casey was in the chair. “Now members, behave.” Not much chance of that. ++++++++++++++++++
